snape is good

Just wanted to make my final shout out before midnight. Snape is good! I know he is. If I haven't already given you my shpeel of reasons, I'm happy to do so. The books are FULL of proof. So, all of you people who have made fun of me for believing this...oh, you just wait. In 11 short hours, I will be victorious and you will have to eat your feet. Yes, both of them. Muahahah! I just love Snape. Can't help it.

facing the unknown

Abigail has me worried. Since she moved in, I have been introduced to a number of new pieces of information (i.e. : rose petal popping, the release of a billion bouncy balls in San Francisco, Bella Good snow cones, Kaiizen….etc.) These are things I feel like I should have known by now. I am an adult! How have I never discovered such important aspects of life? I’m appalled. And worried. What else have I not been privy to?

p.s. click here. it will change your life

over the river and through the woods

Roommate and I went tubing today. It’s really a quite simple process. You head to Big O and pay them $11.65 to blow you up a tire tube (oh and be warned…there’s no warranty on these), and then you shove and squeeze them into your back seat and head up the canyon. Don’t get me wrong…there will be complications. You must take two cars (thanks abbie). Here’s the procedure: drive both to the top, drop off tubes, drive both to the bottom, drop off car #2, drive car #1 to the top, floaty float float down the water, drop off tubes 1 and 2, drive car #2 to the top, drive cars 1 and 2 to the bottom, squeeze and shove tubes back into cars, drive home. WHEW!

Personal highlights of todays extravaganza:

1. Kristen not being able to figure out the car procedure. Ever.

2. Roommate getting stuck on a log, for a number of minutes.

3. Roommate hitting a bridge and flipping over.

4. Roommate getting sucked under by the current.

5. Roommate had a rough ride. :) But it was really entertaining for Kristen.

6. Kristen trying to wait for roommate by holding onto a log, causing a flip over, causing a tube/ croc catching race down the river.

7. Angry fisherman people. Too bad boys…nature is free for all.

8. The fact that I am talking in third person. I think I’ll stop that now.

9. Thinking I had the radio set to christian rock when we got in my car, telling roommate, “Um, I’m playing Jesus music,” then having Chris Brown come on full blast. Whoops.

10. Abbie: “Ahh! It’s so wet!” Well my dear, it is in fact a river. Made out of liquidy water.

11. The quilting fabric I tied on my head and pretended was a headband.

12. When Tiffany said, “Hitting the bottom with your bottom would hurt.” ….and hitting a large rock as she spoke. :)

13. The look on her face when #12 happened. Classic.

Okay, I’m sure there are more, but I’m done now.

ERROR

Whenever something on my computer stops working (which is often) and that box that asks if I would like to send an error report pops up, I always send one. Do I know what an error report is? No. Do I know where it is being sent to? No. All I know is a) it upsets me that the “don’t send” button is highlighted, like they don’t want to hear from you and b) it makes me feel better to fight the system and think that maybe someone somewhere is just sitting, staring at a screen, waiting for my error report to be sent, so that they can push a giant red button, jump up and yell, “Code Red! We have a Code Red! This is not a drill! Kristen’s computer is failing her! Someone hop on that! STAT!” I feel better…

bloop.

Who invented the word “Blooper”? Tiffany (Roommate) says, “Probably John Blooper.” Hmmm…not so sure. It doesn’t matter. They could be named Blumpies, and I would love them just the same. Bloopers are the gems of the entertainment industry. Among my favorites are: Alias, The Office, and Toy Story. But…Confession: I also (I know, it’s morbid) enjoy Gymnastics Bloopers. Don’t judge me for this. There is just something to be said for watching very talented athletes fall flat on their faces.

Please enjoy:

GYMNASTICS BLOOPERS

p.s. #1: No one was harmed in the making of this film…..:) jk.)

p.s. #2: I'm sorry it's just a link. Can't figure out how to post the actual video. Help anyone?

p.s. #3: Warning: if your name is Kristen's Grandma, you will not like this video. :) You are too caring to enjoy it.

before I kick the can

Spending what has felt like days in random doctors’ offices this past week has given me a lot of time to myself, which I so nobly devoted to some casual deep thinking. I have come to the conclusion that I am not so great at the whole goal-setting thing. Minus the time I decided I was destined to tame a tiger and discover a new planet at the age of 7, I have never really written down any particular aspirations of mine. Come to think of it, I don’t have a whole lot of them to write down. BUT! Spending time with so many poor sick people has caused me to take a little bit closer look at what I want from my life. I mean, what if I just keeled over tomorrow? Would I get to Heaven (hopefully…) and think, “Crap! Why did I spend my life sleeping and watching re-runs of Grey’s Anatomy?” If I were told I had one year to live, what would I spend each day doing? I say…forget the diagnosis. Let’s do it now. So, ladies and gents, I give you my first list of Life Goals:

1. Skydive

2. Go to Italy

3. Own a Dog (white lab)

4. Fall madly in love

5. Run a marathon

6. Hike Mt. Timpanogos

7. Paint a picture I like

8. Learn a new language

9. Go skinny dipping

10. Find out how many licks it really takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop.

too much information

While sitting here, trying to select a topic for my first blog to be published in cyberspace, I am reminded of something my brother wrote on myspace. He started with the thought, “I like mustard” and went from there, listing an incredibly long assortment of useless details about himself. Don’t you worry….I copied and pasted it into Word and it is indeed a page and half long. In 10 pt. font….single spaced. So, in case you’re in the mood to swim in an ocean of unwanted information….please, by all means, dive in:

I want to be named Rubi. If I were to change my name it would be Rubi Stonebrook. You could never hate someone with a name like Rubi Stonebrook. I am shy. I pretend I’m not, and sometimes I can fake it pretty well, but in all honesty…I am weary of all kinds of socialness...something I am working on. Inventing words is a common occurrence in my day to day life. Renderpest: A fox that won’t share, for example (sorry if you don’t know that story…I’m obviously on a word budget and do not have enough spare time to get you up to speed...someday maybe). I am definitely not sarcastic. Okay I am. No I’m not. Yes I am. I’m indecisive. About everything. Especially things that matter, and so in order to avoid having to think about decisions, I tend to just make them on the spur of the moment. I roll with the barrel, so to speak. I just made up that analogy. I’m not entirely sure if analogy was the right word to use just now. I don’t know how to use semicolons; (I definitely stole that from Ryan). I steal. But only things I really want. Like clever phrases and my roommate’s cookie dough. And never from stores. That’s called really bad. When I was little I wanted to be a BYU football player when I grew up. So far, I’ve accomplished zero percent of that goal. My first car was a 1992 gold Buick. The Golden Dragon. Oh how I miss our days together. I love movies. All kinds of movies, except ones that are made just to steal your money. Example: Pirates 3. Please don’t make me have that argument with you. I had something else to say here, but now I’ve lost my train of thought. I do that often. CRAP! I find people who constantly swear annoying and people who casually swear hilarious. Camping is one of my favourite things but I hardly ever go. I think moustaches are funny. I like to spell words like I am Brittish (see previous). I am the only person to have ever beaten my brother at scrabble. QUIZ on a triple word square equals a lot of points. I’m am terrified of rubber gloves and frequently tell people I am allergic to latex to avoid contact with them at all. I’m pretty sure I need psychological help. My favorite story in the world (to hear and tell) is the one where Jared left his keys in his car and… well, you know the rest. If not, I’ll tell you sometime. Ha Ha! It’s making me laugh out loud right now… I like to use parentheses and dotdotdots without limitation…. The sound of fingernail files is worse than nails on a chalkboard. I almost died in Guatemala. I don’t like to talk about it. I have a bubble and hate to be touched. Don’t pop the bubble. I like to write poems, especially haikus. One time I got lost at Lagoon and these two old ladies found me and took me to the lost and found. They made me sit in a big window with the other kids and watch for my parents to walk by. Is that weird to anyone else? I like the words ‘luscious’ and ‘indulgence’. The word ‘urine’ makes me want to vomit. Especially when people who know this little fact keep saying, “Yer’ in luck!” just to make me cringe. I also loathe and despise (yes both) the word ‘moist’. It makes me think of a soggy, sun-baked piece of moldy bread in a steamy sandwich baggy. Say that ten times fast. Okay, so it wasn’t that hard… I’m convinced that text messaging will be the downfall of our society. Don’t get me wrong…I text…but not like a crazy person. You know it bugs you when you’re trying to talk to someone and they are texting through the whole conversation. On a similar note, I H-8 vocabulary shortcuts. U NO? They’re not so GR-8. OMG. I am going to run a marathon one day. I am scared out of my pants. I’m not really a runner, which explains the scared out of my pants part. I like my orange front door. If I could get on a plane tomorrow and fly anywhere in the world, I would go to Italy. I would take only a backpack and just wake up every day and do whatever I want, all by myself. I like art in all of its forms. I’ve met some pretty amazing people in my day. Especially teachers. I love my teachers. Minus one, but I won’t name names. When I was 12, I became double jointed in one finger (YES! This was the thought I forgot earlier!). I like wearing my hair in a pony tail, out of my face. I’m a middle child. I have middle child syndrome. Don’t tell me that’s not a real thing. Flip flops can and should be worn year round. Except summer, when we don’t need any shoes at all. If you ever think you can have 4 jobs and go to school at the same time, I have bad news for you. I like to make up stories while I fall asleep at night. I have a hard time falling asleep most of the time. Some of them are really good stories! I have a blankie that I love and take with me on trips. Call me childish. I like to write cheesy cards and I like how email is non-threatening. When I was little I pounded my younger brother in the head with a really heavy walkie-talkie (I like that word) and made him bleed. I still feel guilty about it. So I guess it’s weird I’m telling you about it. Allwell, I feel better now. I like office supply stores, but I’m pretty sure I’m the most unorganized human being on Earth. I’m a tiny bit in love with naps and I take one almost every day. Even if it’s only 3.5 minutes long. I’m an addict. I get obsessed with things and then let them go. For example, I was addicted to Alias for like 2 years (this is a TV show…not a drug, just in case, you know…). I kill songs. I find one I love and listen to it on repeat about 300 times, then I’m sick of it and have to let it go. Marshmallow Mateys…another recent addiction. I’m starting to think that if I drank alcohol I might be an alcoholic, so it’s a good thing I don’t…anymore. Just kidding. I miss elementary school. Profusely. My favorite song is a secret. I am afraid it will be discovered and then over-played, and then I’ll hate it. I’m trying very very hard not to kill it. I like to dance. It’s raw emotion. You can’t lie when you dance. I like things that are real and honest. Reading is the best, especially if it involves Junie B. Jones. I read Harry Potter for the first time in 6th grade, before it was even popular and wrote J.K. Rowling a letter. She wrote me back. We’re tight. I want to make movies someday. And find a way to feed the world.

Here are some things that make my day:

singing at the top of my lungs when I’m alone
the way horses hooves sound when they gallop
buying journals (but not writing in them)
traveling…ANYWHERE
mustard
(it makes the world go round)
the color green
summer
and spring
and fall
and when it’s not winter
the fact that Sunday doesn’t officially start until you wake up, but ends right at midnight
(I know I’m a sinner)
my car named Cracker Jack
(thanks Erica)
my new fish!
(Lucy)
rain
the sound of the spine cracking on a new book the first time it's opened
old, musty books... so mysterious
dance dance revolution
rambling
(can you tell?)
chewing ice
Johnny Depp in pirates #1
Mexican s’mores
GUITAR HERO!
anything to do with the outdoors
pug puppies’ squished up faces
old people-they seem so full of wisdom
dancing
nice people
and ebay
And maybe a few more things….

Okay boys and girls….I think that’s enough for today.