This past week I've found myself in a state of depression not unlike the one I encounter during a good J.K. Rowling read. Allow an explanation. Harry Potter minus the almost unbearable writing equals all my dreams come true. There is nothing I would love more than to go to Hogwarts. This deep-rooted desire leaves me standing (barely) with a short-end-of-the-stick feeling at my horrible luck of being a muggle. (And just so you know, you people thinking I've lost it...I know for a fact I'm not alone here...Shannon came home in tears from the first Pirates movie because she could not be a scallywag.)
Here are the reasonings behind this particular installment of Sulk Yourself Silly: The Olympics...namely women's (little girls'?) gymnastics. As I watched Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin fly through the air performing stunts that would make little circus runaways gape in envy, I could not help but do a little envious gaping myself. So here it is: I want to be an olypmic gymnast and I want a gold medal and I preferably want to do it in four years because I hear they're all going to London in 2012 and I really really like London. I know what you're thinking right now: "Kristen, of course you could be an olympic gymnast! Why are you sitting here on the computer when you could be at the gym training! Goodness, you are so silly!" But you have forgotten two small bits of information. One: I am a tall drink of water. Take the tallest gymnast to ever be an olympian (yes, I looked it up) then add about 6 inches of head. The result will be me. Two: I am no longer 4 years old (I know, shocking). And apparently that would be the age one must be taken from home and begin their training. and Three (so I'm adding one, get over it): I have no house to mortgage twice to pay for classes.
What to do? Sometimes it blows when you realize at age 21 that your hopes and dreams in life are to rewind 17 years. And also to be Chinese.
Anyway, Please contact me if:
A. You are an olympic gymnastics trainer and are looking for an adult prodigy at the beginning level.
B. You have a house I could borrow and mortgage.
C. You are selling shortening drugs (Illegal is fine).
D. You have found how to get to Hogwarts and are selfish and not sharing. It's time to spread the wealth amigo.
P.S. I know at least one person from each of these categories is reading this blog. Don't be a stranger. Come out of hiding.
8 comments:
OH MY HEAVENS! Totally add me to your list of 21 year old's who want to be an Olympian. Did you catch the sprints! The black dude from Jamaica who beat everyone by yards! HELLO! his lips were like flapping in the wind, muscles were rippling, and I was sitting on my butt with my mouth wide open waiting for something amazing to happen to me...(nothing did). Man! Those people were amazing!
Remember how Nastia (Nasty as I like to call her) is like a GIANT in gymnastics... and she is 5'3". I bet you would look awesome out there. Follow your dreams. Sorry, I don't have a house. I have no way to get into Hogwarts and the only drugs that I have are Advil... and I am pretty sure there would be a low turn around on that.
Perhaps this would give you motivation to follow your dreams:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpg57OB5RuQ
Seriously. Watch it. Right now.
It's ok, I have the same dream of becoming an olympian too. Then I just realized I could marry Michael Phelps and force my kids into being olympians. Hello, problem solved!
Think about it
maybe we could find a trainer that trains in two specialty areas because i want to be a beach volley ball player. we can mortgage my house. and honestly i just want to look that good in a skimpy swimming suit that rides up and i feel no pressure to re-adjust because i just look THAT good. plus i want to run, jump and bounce around in that swimming suit with no reservations. gold medal, endorsement and tv time would be bonus!
Every Summer Olympics I want to be an olympic swimmer and every Winter Olympics I want to be a figure skater, both things I did as a small child, youth, and teen, and not well enough to qualify for any sort of competition, but somehow I feel that if I could just do it over I would have what it takes. John thinks I'm crazy! I think I'm crazy too:)
I too share the Hogwarts dream. Maybe if we spend some time we could come up with a crafty scheme and break in. We could fool all the witches and wizards in to thinking that we were one of them. I feel really good about this idea.
I went on the Pirates ride at Disneyland this weekend and I still want to be a pirate more than anything. I don't even care if they dress me up and put me as a prop for the ride. I walked out of there so mad because I wasn't a pirate. I want to be a pirate that learns magic at Hogwarts. If I can't have that then I just want to die. I know that you know exactly how i feel.
you make me laugh so hard kriste, a little pee came out! :)
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