Shannon (the sister): "Kristen, isn't it sad that you don't have any normal baby photos?"
Kristen: "Excuse me, of course I do."
Shannon: "You really don't."
Kristen: "Yes I do."
Shannon: "No I mean normal as in 'ones in which you do not look either
a) possessed and/or b) completely ridiculous.'"
Kristen: "They exist. I will prove it."
(pause for intermission while I scour through endless albums, boxes, folders, scrapbooks for ANY evidence which could salvage whatever childhood dignity I once held...)
Aaaaaaaaaannnnnddd....they in fact do not exist. It's a sad story, and an unamusing one to tell, but an accurate tale nonetheless, and I believe in truth. No matter how ugly. Which is, at the moment, unfortunate because some truths indeed are UG-A-LEE.
Here's what I have uncovered:
"Yeah....I'm not so sure about this whole 'blessing' idea.
(Although I am certain the double chin is back in.)"
"I don't know, dinner ended like an hour ago.
I think they forgot I was still in this chair."
"Who the heck are you?"
Just another possessed one... Sometimes I think it
must take a while to get used to this planet we have been
thrown onto. Just a theory. Based on these eyes.
"Uhhh...you left me here again!
You really need to stop doing that."
I cannot believe my brain used to be in there. I wonder
what I was thinking...probably something along the lines of,
'Hey, a rubber chicken!' But your guess is as good as mine.
If Conan O'Brian gets ahold of this..."Celebrity Babies"
will be taken to a whole new level. It might be the end of me.
"Whoops. Did I eat that?"
"He did say to call, you know!"
"Whhooohoooohoooo. They moooove."
Productive sleeper.
"Ba ha ha ha ha ha!"
I knew I was destined for the drill team.
"Wait, seriously? Wear this?"
And just for good measure, I braved the shame of admitting that I was bald until kindergarten (not my fault folks...it's all about the genetics), and threw in a couple especially for you Nat...
(You'll have to excuse the shape of the photos. You can't blame your parents for artistic endeavors of the 80's.)
"Mom, just 'cause I look like a boy, doesn't mean I like them."
"Um, what do you think you're doing there buddy?
He's touching me."
I know you probably think I've gone overkill on the photos, but believe it or not, this is 5% of what I dug out. And speaking of too many photos...I will officially never post this many in one go ever again. Especially with all that old school SCANNING....waaahehey to long. Good thing I currently have no life.
6 comments:
YOU MADE MY DAY...AGAIN!!!! THese will ALL be perfect for the reception video/DVD...although I have to tell you, I am hoping you would rather take a sum of money and forgo the reception ( i really, really really REALLY hate receptions--probably something to do with Don being in the Bishopric or Stake PResidency our whole life) ...dang it's fun to pretend/assume-assert:)If I let myself go I could have your WHOLE life planned for you by 9am! :)
I love you! THANK YOU For saying I looked beautiful...did you know which one was me?
Natalie
This post was HILARIOUS. I especially love the commentary. It isn't our fault that as babies we have no idea what the box that flashes really bright lights actually does. Sheesh!
This is great my friend. I love the pictures. And yes, you do have eyes that made it so that you looked permanently possessed. haha :)
Oh Kristen. In the ten minutes or so that it took to me read that, I think I laughed more than I have in a long long time! That seriously made my flipping day! The captions at the bottom of the pics made it even better! Awesome!! You are like me, you grew into your eyes....
Hahah, those pictures are hilarious. You have to admit though, it IS more interesting to have funny/crazy baby pictures than boring normal ones! You were a cute baby!
I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. I love you. Thank you for this post. I can't wait to show Lindsay. I miss you
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