August 28, 2007

definitions

DELICIOUS:


HYSTERICAL:


PEACEFUL:


PURE:


DISTRAUGHT:


CONTENT:


DISTURBING:


MCDREAMY:

August 21, 2007

shoe paint

I have never been a huge fan of running. I absolutely love how I feel after a good hard run, but getting myself to go has been a challenge in the past. I have had to tell myself over and over, "Kristen, you LOVE running! Now get up off of your pettooty and get out of here!" This rarely works. My brain is just too smart. It knows when I'm lying. Luckily, I no longer have to fight with myself. My fate has begun to change, all thanks to one important invention: shoe paint. Yes, you've heard right, paint made especially for your footwear.

After analyzing the numerous holes in my 4-year old running shoes, it became apparent that I could no longer use them. I made a leap and went to a REAL running store, with REAL running stuff, for REAL runners. It was enthralling. They watched me run around the store (a little awkward, but nevertheless fun) and a little to my dismay,I was told I have an "over-pronating gate". But fear not my friends, they do in fact have special shoes to fix this problem, and 1 hour and 20 pairs of shoes later, I was handed a pair of deliciously comfortable Sauconys. I'll admit I'm not really up to speed with all the medical "pronation" jargon, all I know is two things: 1. These shoes feel better than butter and 2. They are boooooring. In a REAL running store you are not allowed to complain about the color of your shoes and I obeyed this rule to a tee, but when they handed me these, my heart was slightly saddened:



I was after all, hoping for something a bit spunkier. So, what did I do? I went home and began some internet-style research. After discovering the wonderful paint I invested in every color of the rainbow. In the end, me plus a lot of paint and a not-so-exciting pair of shoes equaled this:



Yes, I got a little carried away, but in all honesty I wasn't really going for "cute", but more along the lines of "what on earth does that girl have on her feet?" Nothing makes me happier than putting these babies on and taking them for a stroll around the neighborhood. So, in summary: If you hate your daily (or sometimes monthly, in my case) workout, go buy a neon green swimsuit with gold polka dots, or spray paint your bike hot pink and sprinkle glitter on the wheels. Maybe even write your favorite words all over it. It is then that you will begin to look forward to your time together.

(thanks for the photos Ryan!)

August 18, 2007

the end of the world as I know it

My world came crashing down today. It's true people...Bear Grylls (Man vs. Wild) is a fake.

Are you finding yourself crying while hysterically screaming, "No! You're a liar! It simply cannot be true!"? Guess what? It can. I'm sorry my friends, but all those hours you spent praying the sharks under the raft wouldn't eat him, or that the little squid would give him enough nourishment to make it another 8 hours, were wasted. Let's just not talk about it anymore.


Here's your proof: click here

Now go cry yourself to sleep, under a big Bearless sky. :(

(In retrospect I have to admit I did wonder what the camera guys ate. But I suppose that's just the camera man's daughter inside of me.)

August 17, 2007

refrigerator poetry

one set of magnetic words and one slooooow day at work later...



August 16, 2007

call me sydney bristow

I feel like I shouldn't admit this on the world wide web, but all well, here goes...

Back in the day, my brother Jared and I used to play a little game we liked to call "Nighttime Stalkers", which involved us driving around in the middle of the night in Blue Thunder (beautiful '91 Voyager mini van...love you) through the streets of Utah County, armed with only a couple bucks for gas and a phonebook. Why a phonebook you ask? Because how can you be an effective stalker without knowing where your subjects reside? Muahaha! We were sneaky evil. I am Batman...Jared Robin. (sorry buddy, that's what you get for not driving) Anyway, the basics of the game: Look up people from your life a long time ago (Elementary school teachers, old dentists, long lost classmates, etc. etc.) and go find out where they live. Pretty much that's it. You just see thier house and drive away. I know it doesn't sound too cool, but believe me it is a thrill! For some strange reason, I feel like I understand people better when I know where they live.

"Nighttime Stalkers" was only an update from "Tree Spies" which was formed by my friend Kirtley and I in the 3rd grade. We would climb up into the trees in the orchard behind her house with binoculars and the cordless phone. We'd spy through the windows of the neighbors' houses and after analyzing their current activities, we'd give them a call. Disguising our voices we'd say things like, "How are those Cheerios Mrs. Johnson?" or "Are you winning that computer game Joe?" Sometimes I am amazed I am not in prison right now.

Anyway, what I am getting at here in this eternal post is this: My fettish with CIA-ish hobbies has advanced to an entirely new level. If you have not played with Google Earth yet, you are missing out my friends, because it is so entertaining I could spend all day just looking at the rooftops of random buildings across the globe. Ever wondered how it would feel to fly from the top of the Empire State Building to the Eiffel Tower? Well now you can! You just type in any address on Planet Earth and you are taken right to it! I love technology so much! It's not even funny.



All I know is maybe Harriet the Spy should never have been written, because since I read it when I was 8, I have never been the same. Alias didn't really help the situation either. Dang entertainment...

Disclaimer: I am not a stalker anymore, I just like to look up cool places in Europe and stuff. The investigations ended long ago. In case you were getting worried. :) Hah!

August 13, 2007

I heart nightmares

Nightmares are apparently my dream of choice. I never have pleasant dreams (at least that I can remember upon waking). A great woman once said, "When life gives you nightmares, make lemonade"...or something to that extent. So, in response to her inspiring words, I have decided to find the bright side of my situation...

Last night my dream involved my dad and I fighting off a pack of ferocious Ogres.

And I'm not talking about this kind:


But more like this kind:


Our weapons of choice? Kitchen knives. Were we victorious? You betcha. Die suckas! Although it was in fact one of the more terrifying moments of my life, I've decided to view these adventures as precious father-daughter bonding time. How many kids get to battle giant green monsters with their dads? Hello! I am like the luckiest girl alive! I don't get to see my dad a lot, so I've learned to appreciate the small moments. Like, for example, the time we grew giant bat wings and flew around a creepy neighboorhood in California, looking for escaped criminals. That one didn't end so well...but we won't go there.

Anyway, the point I am trying to get at here is that....actually, I don't think I have a point. Nevermind.

August 4, 2007

a modern education

Due to recent complaints regarding my lack of blogging (p.s. I'm flattered someone is actually reading this), I have decided to offer an explanation for my absence. Here it is: Online school has ruined my life. I have a procrastination problem and internet classes have not been so good for me. I am enrolled for the summer semester and upon realizing that the deadline for all tests, assignments, quizzes, and projects is this coming Tuesday, I thought it might be a good idea to get started on the classes. So in short, I am cramming 4 months worth of work into 4 days. Needless to say, it hasn't been my favorite week. Apologies extended... I'll return shortly.