exercise

Here are my thoughts on the matter: Exercise is weird.

I'll explain. Close your eyes and picture this......... Okay, now that you've re-opened them to read what you are supposed to be picturing, just keep them open and we'll fix that glitch by imagining with our eyes open. Or you could just close one if that helps. Close your eye and imagine you are an alien. It's hard, but try. You are an ambassador from Vortex 8 and you are on a mission to learn more about these creatures called "humans" on this planet called "Earth". You are to observe the daily life of the world's inhabitants and write up a report of your findings. I can see it now: "These extraterrestrial beings are highly advanced technically, medically, ethically (sometimes), culturally, and every night they jump on conveyor belts and run themselves into a state of complete and utter exhaustion."

When I watch a person run on a treadmill I get profoundly confused. Picture it. (I'm really into the visualizations today)... Imagine someone sprinting on a treadmill (someone ridiculously good-looking if that helps you stay focused, or not so hunk-ish for the same reason). Now keep watching this person run, sprint, push their heart to its absolute limit, oh the pain! Sweat drips down this person's face, then flies off his luschious head of hair as he flings his noggin from side to side in slow motion...FOCUS! Come on people, stay with me! Now ask yourself this question: "What on planet Earth is said human doing?"

I've read the studies, I've studied the readings....I know the answer. I know that our bodies were made to get a days work done and I realize that a days work has changed from having to chase down a cheetah, wrestle it into a headlock, kill it with your bare hands, hoist it onto a tree you have just cut down with a cheetah tooth and roast it for the kiddies' dinner to...sitting your hiney on a cushioned chair and using all stored energy only to lift your finger to a keyboard and click that enter button (you can do it!), with the occasional trip to the nearest restroom provided you forgot your depends that day. But what I'm really trying to get at here is this: Aren't our bodies these incredible machines that can adapt to anything and evolve over time to meet the needs of our environment? And if so, is it really that hard to just accustom yourself to one's sedentary ways and still be healthy? Come on, it can't be that hard....really. Bodies withstood the fashions of the 1980's, and nothing can be much more difficult than that. We altered the course of the world and ended up having to compensate for being more efficient than neanderthals. I mean evolution has been great for the whole opposable thumbs thing, but I think we got the short end of the stick on exercise.

In conclusion I would like to first apologize for the length of this post and pray that you have not actually read the entire thing, being as how it is simply a rant I have somehow embarked upon. Secondly, I would like to say that I actually do like to exercise (usually) and that I think it serves useful purposes (aka endorphins), and with that being said I have now made this entire saga of streaming thoughts completely and utterly credit-less. Welcome to my brain. Actually...one thing is excused from the pointlessness and that is the part where I express my deep rooted hatred of the treadmill. Please go run SOMEWHERE and see SOMETHING.

Amen.