Running into things is not uncommon to me. Once in junior high I was actually defending myself after being called clumsy when I walked into a chain link fence. I lost that argument.
This is bringing back semi-painful memories of another incident from my hooligan days (okay fine, it was like 2 years ago). One ordinary day (don't worry it becomes extra-ordinary) I was running (to be clear...sprinting) from the kitchen to the office (I've just acknowledged my obscene overuse of parenthesis), most likely in an attempt to escape from a 10-minute clean up.
Our house looks like this:
This is actually the blueprint we used for building. Let me explain the markings. The yellow dot represents my dear father sitting in a chair, silently thumbing through a book. The red line represents me, running quite swiftly. Please notice that this red line does not end in the office. It ends at the wall. To be precise, the wall which I hit at 77 miles per hour. The wall which knocked me off my feet and left my face planted firmly on the floor. Wait, here's the kicker. This is the point in the story where I think I have run into a human and am feeling bad about that fact. Still eating carpet, I begin to throw out my deepest of apologies. "I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh, I didn't even see you there! I just rammed right into you! I'm so so sorry!" And here's where previously mentioned parent looks up from his studies, pauses for quick analysis of the situation and then calmly let's me know, "Yeah...I'm pretty sure it doesn't care."
Thanks Dad. Way to take away my last shred of dignity.
10 comments:
what about when michelle oiled the banister.
wow. I must have repressed that one for a while. Are we talking about the time I fell down the stairs, or the time I fell over the banister onto the stairs. In either case, you'll notice I no longer attempt stairway acrobatics.
you are probably my favorite person ever.
Its all good. I talk to flowers all the time . . .
Dads are like that. After spraining my ankle, my dad reminds me I cannot now try out for a dancing part in our high school musical.
i am laughing out loud at two oclock in the morning. kristen you are seriously the funniest person i know.
Do you remember the "Tigger Award"? You still get it! I love your stories!
Haha, I'm still laughing hysterically. lol. Boy do I miss my dear Kristen :)
Kristen, you have the best stories! I'm crying I'm laughing so hard!!
Thank you for helping me realize I am in good company with my same problem. Just ask your neighbor Shelley about the time the bookclub met on her porch with their husbands and I ran into the house to grab something. Only I never made it that far because I bounced off the screen at top speed and landed flat on my backside. They are still talking about it. Witnesses are the bane of our existence! If they weren't there we could keep this "problem" under wraps. Maybe we should form a therapy group...
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