Mom: "Dear favorite child, clean out the fountain."
Kristen: "No thank you. I didn't dirty it up."
Mom: "Remember last Tuesday when you invented that game called 'throw an entire bag of colored marshmallows into the fountain?'"
Kristen: "I have no response to that."
Mom: "Don't make me hurt you."
Kristen: "Oh, that fountain."
Mom: "Chop chop."
20 minutes later: Kristen is still scrubbing what appears to be a coat of half vomit half diarrhea (sorry friends...it's the only way to convey to you the vile-ness) with little to no success. Enter mother.
M: "Here's a bottle of Clorox...have at it."
K: "Have you lost your mind? And I'm serious this time."
M: *the look*
K (shielding eyes): "Remember how you like to watch birds drink out of this fountain? Last time I checked, robins don't like bleach."
M: "Just rinse it out really really well when you're done."
K: "Please don't make me become a birdie murderer."
M: "They will be FINE. Scrub."
(I believe this is where we began with the British accents, which of course led to me speaking like an Indian. No not Native American...red dot on the forehead Indian. All my attempts at being a foreigner leave me giving a riveting impression of Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. However, I will now stop killing you slowly with this tangent and save my language woes for therapy.)
K: "I declare madam! The fowl shall surely perish!"
M: "Peasant! I did not pay 4 shillings for a complainer! Thine life shall be my bidding!"
K: "Yur veeshous mie comehand."
And here we rejoin you one week later. What do you know, Kristen was right again and is in fact an avian assassin. Surprise!
6 comments:
Ha ha...this made me laugh so hard! How sad for the bird though, you are indeed a bird murderer!
you killed that poor bird!! but, you gave it an honest effort, don't worry
actually, have you see The Birds?! you may want to watch your back for the next couple of weeks!
Thanks Barbara for killing the birds....
I think Barbara is the most patient and wonderful mom, even if she is a bird killer:)
Oh my gosh? Are you serious? That bird really died? haha, wow, who would've known. That is hilarious!
I am now scarred for life. I may never use bleach again! How do you post a warning sign for birds so your fountain doesn't become a haunted bird graveyard?!?
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