12:02 AM: Kristen walks to shoe closet. Her contacts are drying, her feet ache, she is tie-urhd.
12:03 AM: Kristen kicks footwear into bottom shelf. Out slithers this:
12:04 AM: Kristen is reminded of recent encounters with snakes and is not anxious to repeat said occurences.
12:07 AM: Kristen has not moved even a smidgen in the last 4 minutes. Likewise for the snake.
12:09 AM: Chopsticks in hand (just in case), Kristen throws a roller blade at snake and hits it's tippie tail. Snake slithers forward.
12:09 and 3 seconds AM: Kristen is sitting on kitchen counter top nearly in tears eating off all of her fingernails. What to do?
12:14 AM: Kristen slowly makes her way back to the scene of the crime (please imagine Jack Skellington (from Nightmare Before Christmas) strut).
12:15 AM: Snake has not moved.
12:16 AM: Kristen finds that fishy. "Why haven't you moved?" she asks snake.
12:16 AM: Snake doesn't respond.
12:16-12:19 AM: Snake and Kristen face off in a staring war. Snake is very good.
12:19 AM: Kristen feels a moment of bravery coming on and hits snake on the head with a chopstick.
12:19 AM: Snake doesn't move. "It's a fake!" she yells in elation and then in disgruntlement. "It's a fake," she sighs.
12:20 AM: Kristen's heart rate has begun to make its way back down to normal as she stares into the heavens and curses toy makers around the globe. "You are the scum of the earth," she whispers to no one in particular. "Particularly those of you making moving snake toys," she particulates.
2:16 AM: Kristen lies awake in her bed. She is dreading dreams of slimy serpents.
6 comments:
You are way too brave. I probably would have passed out then and there. I believe that your title should read, "ALL snakes are stupid".
And why were you not more concerned that there could have been a snake in your closet. Were you not more concerned about that?!
Ha ha!! You ARE brave. I think I would've given up the ghost when I saw it. Especially if it was near my shoes...those are too important!
I would have evacuated the house until John came home:) You are very brave! And I second Kristine's question, why were you not more concerned that there was a snake in the closet?
while "all snakes are stupid" is a very true fact, it's a very poor alliteration. Proper english first and always Kristine. Haven't you learned anything from reading this blog? Huh? Hav' yeh? Langwige must been right at all time. And no made up verbage.
p.s. you guys know the snake is a fake right? (please note rhyming) I think I am lost in this conversation.
Ok, I don't like that at all! Seriously, I am so terrified of snakes without trying to figure out if it was real or not. I would have called the exterminators!!
Post a Comment